Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Dubya Voting Satire

This just in - Democrats are turning out in droves to vote for Dubya in the primaries. In unprecedented numbers, people all over the country are turning their votes into one voice for George W. Bush. Is it an evil mind ray that Haliburton has developed? Is it the final takeover of the U.S. by Texas?
Let's interview some of the faithful.
"Excuse me, what made you change your mind?"
Some early responses:
"I am tired of this two party system and all the bickering - can't we all just get along?"
"George is a man's name - who names their son Kerry?"
"I wanted the chance to vote for a winner this year."
"I heard that CHAD whatshisname is running in Florida again this year - Democratic candidiates don't stand a chance against him."
"Whaddya mean George is a Republican? We live in a Democracy, stupid! "
"I wanted a President who could increase debt while cutting education and pissing off the world."
"We need a man in the White House who will do whatever it takes to make Gotham safe for the Iraqi citizens."
"I figured it would push the U.S. towards vilolent revolution."
"As a Democrat, I have always voted for the ruling Elite."
"I have always supported war and war products -it put my son through medical school and helped him start his first practice."
"Are you implying I'm a bad American?"
"I support the President in whatever he does."
"We need more men in Uniforms."
"Historically, after wars when the Women outnumber the Men in our society, we have been very successful."
"He's much cuter than Mr. Edwards."
"I, like all good Christians, believe in the trinity of Father, Son and the Holy War."
"I wanted the country to be United again, just like in the old days before Lincoln made us share with them colored people - those were good times."

No comments: